“Money Back Guarantee” #USPS

(Reposting from Facebook, Monday, May 12, 2014)

So I paid for overnight express mail for a Saturday delivery date. The package was not delivered until this morning. The USPS has a money back guarantee so of course I march my self right back to the very same branch where I bought AND mailed the package. “Ernestine” (names have been changed to protect the semi-innocent) quizzes me on how I got the receipt I presented to her. Answering her took me a minute because I was confused by the question. Finally I respond:

Me: (politely) “I have the receipt because it’s the receipt I got when I bought the postage.”

: (beat) “Oh that’s right”

: (I say nothing because I am fighting that aggravation feeling I get in situations like this)

Next, I present to her the tracking info that I printed from my computer this morning showing the date of delivery as this morning:

Ernestine: “Well where did you get this?”

Me: “From my computer”

Ernestine: “Oh, okay”

Me: (again I say nothing and just present her with a blank stare and a slight tilt of my head)

Next, I am presented with paperwork to complete while she disappears to go look up the tracking information herself because my printout could be doctored. Sigh. Eventually she returns and puts up her “closed window” sign declaring that I am her last customer as it is time for lunch. Yes, I imagine that it is. Funny how SHE seems exasperated at this point. Anyway, she then proceeds to examine my receipt in front of me.

Ernestine: “Well we can’t tell when you sent it”

Me: “Well the time stamp on the receipt tells you that it was purchased at 1:49pm”

Ernestine: “Well we don’t know if you took the postage home and then mailed it after 5p”

Me (inner monologue): “Yes because I walked all the way over here to buy express mail postage to then take it home and wait until after 5p to mail it so that it wouldn’t arrive by Saturday like I wanted and instead would arrive on Monday so that I could then COME BACK to the post office and ask you for my money back instead of just spending half the money and sending it as a priority package.”

Me (what I really said): “I gave it to that worker over there but I guess he wouldn’t remember that now would he?”

Ernestine: “No he probably won’t”

End result: I got my money back and I didn’t have to go all “Elevator Solange” on her but trust that I felt like it for one brief moment. #SeeHowViolenceBegetsViolence???

Enjoy your weekend! 🙂

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