(1) Lucious is trying to woo Cookie back. Been dropping off hella gifts at her crib. A gold gun, a stone lion, some gold plated street names (I think). She ain’t impressed and wants it all sent back. I mean sure re most of it but I’m with Porsha re the shoes, them Jimmy Choos need to stay put! A few additional notes: (a) I like Cookie’s bedroom, it’s pretty! (b) What was that black shortie set with the fur that she wore to bed?? Sway? (c) She apparently has an array of loud a*s bathrobes but I might could have rocked the last one.
(2) ARGH!! Lucious STILL has that d*mn pimp hair. I need it gone!! I thought I made that clear in the last recap. Lee Daniels or whomever is actually running the show – GET RID OF THAT BS! ANYway, Anika is slow because she thought she was just going to be able to hire a nanny without that fool Lucious not being a crazed dictator about it. Sure enough he pulled a Martin and threw all the applicants out. Moms piped up and said she would help and I’m pretty sure I yelled at the same time Anika did “oh HELL no!” Anyway Slick Haired Lucious told Anika she has “one job” #BeAMomma. What year is it?? Never mind.
(3) Oh look there’s Taye Diggs. Hey Taye. He and Jamal are being interviewed by 105.1’s Angela Yee. Oh, Taye’s name on the show is “Angelo Dubois” hmmmmm. He’s a City Councilman and he looks uncomfortable in that suit. Or does he look annoyed? Maybe it’s the chair. The mic in his face? Maybe he’s already over being on this set? Yeaaaaaah now THAT is a strong possibility.
Oh lawd, Angela brought up Jamal’s panic attack and Taye/Angelo said he had PTSD THEN he spelled it out for him like ‘Mal ain’t know what he was talking about. Called him a “victim.” Y’all know Cookie was .2 seconds from jumping up and going upside his head but ‘Mal handled it. Told Taye he ain’t no doctor. Also told him that he ain’t no victim. Taye then said a sentence that contained the phrase “black folk” so I paused my tv for a second to let that register. Sigh.
Then Taye/Angelo promoted his program “Woke” and invited Jamal to come through. Jamal said “bet, i’m in” and Cookie was like “boy WHY??” She also called Taye-Angelo a “bougie b*tch” and said “he wouldn’t know the streets if it shot him in the a*s.” Yep I laughed. Cookie tried to pull Jamal out of it but bougie Taye-Angelo was already all up on social media with the news. ‘Mal can’t back out now. A social media announcement is damn near a binding contract nowadays #Receipts!
Personally speaking I would LOVE for them to bring back Derek Luke just for an episode so we can really get it poppin with the dark chocolate line up. Am I the only one??
(4) Nessa, Xzibit-Shine, Hakeem and Lucious are having a meeting. Hakeem said he wants to do a “living album” like Yeezy did with “Life of Pablo.” Un huh. Okay. Sure. Lucious promptly sh*tted all over that cause that’s what he does best. Then he proceeded to check Hakeem about shirking his parental responsibilities BUT the last time Daddy ‘Keem was at the manse holding the baby you took her from him and told him he didn’t know what he was doing. You sending mixed signals playa.
(5) Cookie dropped in the office to give Lucious all his stuff back: “What are you trying to do, impress me? you know I can buy all of this stuff myself.” #IGotMyOwnMoney
(6) The Woke kids are taking a tour of Empire. Taye-Angelo and Lucious meet. Some youngn freestyles for Lucious, called him an OG. Conclusion, Lucious sees an opportunity and offers to host the summit at Empire. Taye says we good. Lucious says look I’ll pay for everything AND then suggests they steam the whole thing via Empire’s streaming company #OfCourse
(7) Hakeem struggling in the booth. Nessa tried to pep talk him. She’s cute, really she is and her singing ability is lovely but her acting tho… Can we PLEASE get an acting coach on set? Like a real one, someone who has coached an Oscar winner cause this person will have their work cut out for them. Nessa and ‘Keem collab on a track. Un oh. Y’all know where this is going. Smdh already. I really don’t want to see them together, I just don’t. He is A MESS!
Q. So we ain’t never gon’ see the lil Spanish mommy again? Never ever??
(8) Lucious interrupts a meeting Cookie is having with Becky claiming he has a new track for Jamal BUT really he still on that wooing ish. The track sampled “Just A Friend” which leads us to our first flashback.
Teenage Cookie is a cutie but her dance moves – AWK-WARD. Whew chile! I blame Lee Daniels. Then grown Cookie bragged on her dance moves. Girl…
(9) Why is Dre alone?? He’s yelling for Rhonda, he hears her voice but he can’t see her. Jamal walks in and tries to assess the situation. Dre incoherently babbles about his meds and Rhonda until Jamal stops him. Thank you Jamal cause I couldn’t take too much more of that – again I blame Lee Daniels.
Q. Did Jamal have that damn near full beard in his previous scenes? He using that same fast gro ish Drake got?? Let me find out.
Anyway back to Dre, I need them to hire a full time nurse for his legit crazy a*s. But naw, Jamal gon’ help him with his drug chart like he ain’t got his own emotional ish going on right now. The half broken leading the full broken – this is gonna end well #Not
Lucious gets the full blame for the condition of his kids. Hakeem is a spoiled rotten fckboi, Dre has a brilliant and prone to becoming unhinged mind and Jamal might snap any day now. I feel like of all three of them Jamal is the one who actually might shoot someone – for a good reason of course.
(10) The emphasis on Taye-Angelo’s non-hood background is HEAVY. Lucious referred to him as “some petty government bureaucrat from some bougie-a*s Jack and Jill family.” Had Thirsty run a check on him. Wait WHERE IS THIRSTY?? Please tell me he is out shopping for a new wardrobe PLEASE!! Anyway Taye-Angelo got a DUI back in the day and got out of it because of his family connects. Lucious said he was “as square as a damn checkerboard” and that line was as wack as your hairstyle.
Cookie said she wasn’t here for his “political tricknology”, called him “high siddity” and read his a*s about never having had to struggle. In parting: “With yo clean-shaven, slick-talking a*s, acting all holier-than-thou, could’ve killed somebody but didn’t, got a slap on the wrist for drunk driving a*s. Get out of here! You a joke!” Mouth-FUL!
Jamal: “Well damn. The only other person I have ever seen her go off on like that is you.”
Lucious: *stuck face. Yep that’s right you got COM-PE-TI-TION playa. Good.
Also, Taye is shoooooort! I already knew this but was reminded again in this scene.
(11) Seriously LOVING cookie’s bedroom! So sure it’s cool to have Biz Markie performing “Just A Friend” in your living room BUT waking up to Biz playing “Just A Friend” in your living room… Ummmm. Sadly you know what messed this scene up? No, not Cookie’s off key rhyming. Yep, it was Lucious’ non-dancing a*s and his hair.
All of that happened and Cookie still told Lucious to pump his brakes which led us to Flashback #2. Young “mannish and hood” Lucious is still cute but his acting… WHERE IS THAT COACH??
Ohhhh this is interesting, Cookie backstory that doesn’t involve her 16 (17?) years in jail. So Cooks was a Catholic studious youngn hanging out with a “nerd” and ended up running drugs with this light-skint thug? Chile… #YoungAndSimple #SheSaidIt
(12) Broken Andre and Cookie have a heart to heart. Dre asked his moms a legit question: “How did you do it? I don’t know anybody who lost more than you. And you survived it. You’re still here. You’re still fighting.” True statement. Cookie stumbled a little initially in her response to him but eventually she found the right words. Well damn that wasn’t a bad scene. Let’s be clear, he STILL needs professional help tho, can we all get on the same page about that? Please??
(13) Shine-zibit is all the way out of control. It’s bad enough that he clocked dude for checking out his sister but how he set it up was even more foul. Went over there under a false pretense then sucker punched him. There are a few names I want to use it here but I’m not gonna, use your imagination.
(14) Awwww check out the kids #Woke
(15) Good lord what is Porsha wearing?? So she’s wearing that on purpose??? Moving on, Taye-Angelo got his spiel a little better together. Called Jamal a survivor instead of a victim.
While he’s talking Cookie drifts into Flashback #3. Was it just me or did “Randy’s Lobster Tail” look suspiciously like “Red Lobster”? She was on a date with the “nerd” and he let her know he had their entire life planned out. Not gonna front, this convo took me back. Oh the choices we make as youngsters, especially when you’re a hard-headed youngster. 😉
(16) Awwwwww ish! Taye-Angelo called Cookie “remarkable” and said she taught him some stuff, said he has a feeling he will be thanking her “over and over and over for that insight.” Look at Taye-Angelo!!! Laying the foundation!! YOU BETTA PUT IN THAT WORK!!
(17) And just like Trump, Lucious can’t help himself and once again reminded Cookie of his ain’t sh*t character. Literally played the fck outta Jamal by telling him to come on stage and perform knowing d*mn well he ain’t right. Boy was about to have a heart attack. Q. How he gon’ help Dre?? Both of ’em need professional care.
(18) Taye-A interrupts Lucious and Cookie talking about Jamal to thank them for assisting with the event. This mofo ain’t slick. “It’s wonderful for the kids to see you two getting along even though you are no longer married.” Then this line “Black love. It’s beautiful” WITH a thumbs up. Not gonna front I fell out. Taye-A is NOT playing. Comedy. Lucious mad. Cookie started flirting with Taye-A right in his face. Good. Lucious wouldn’t even shake Taye-A’s hand, said to call him “Mr. Lyon” #PettyAss
(19) Awwwww look at Becky and J Poppa. Dey cute. I was totally appreciating everything he was saying to her until he said “Becky with the good hair” NOT because of that wig but because the line was corny af. Anyway he wants her to bounce from Empire with him. Said Empire was about to go down in flames or something like that. Becky is conflicted cause Lucious looked out when no one else did. Un huh. Good luck with that snake.
(20) All “tree” brothers are together. Jamal is popping pills with his scotch. Andre is lucid enough to give advice and a pep talk to Jamal and Hakeem. And for himself he knows he has to get his dead wife out of his head. I don’t know homie she was REAL aggressive in real life I feel like ghost Rhonda might be even worse. She ain’t got sh*t to lose. Literally.
(21) Half brother/uncle/cop Tariq is in his meager dwelling smashing a bowl of cereal looking at the feed from the nanny cam in Baby Bella’s room. Cut to Flashback #4: Young Tariq was trying to hang wit the boys on the corner when his mama came and snatched his lil a*s up and told him to stay faaaaaar away from his thug half-sibling and his thug half-sibling’s crazy a*s mama. Good advice.
(22) First, I love Anika’s manicure. Second and more relevant to this scene, she detects feedback on the baby monitor when she goes to plug it in. Tariq’s teddy bear jig is up.
(23) And we close with a #BlackLivesMatter moment. 5-0 rolled up on Andre while he was exiting his crib with a box. One of the white officers called him “boy” and y’all saw how that white woman bounced like she ain’t know nobody?? Like she don’t know quite likely the only black man living on that block??? Of course Dre ends with his face on the asphalt and in handcuffs. I can’t. This ish is too real right now. Super aggy.
Coming Up: Dre in the legal system (betta call Taye), Anika tries to flex (girl stop), Mariah is present and half-naked (of course), Lucious does something shady (duh) and Taye tries to move in on Cookie (good luck fella).