(1) Episode opens with with Mama Helen and MJ in the kitchen hooking up the homemade dressing. I love Mama Helen.
(2) MJ is hosting a BBQ at her house. Patrick is on the grill telling Pops a story about work. He is AMPED! He’s twirling the grilling tongs and e’rythang. I kinda thought Pops gave him a look but maybe he’s just happy that his son finally seems to be on track. Wait ’til he finds out…
(3) MJ to Patrick: “You really put your foot in this burger.” I just don’t believe she would say that.
(4) And not quite 5 minutes into the show MJ checks Niecy for using her iPad at the table. Niecy tells her she’s looking for a car. Y’all already know what came next, a patented MJ lecture about what Niecy should and should not be doing. She should be saving. She should not be getting a car. If I’m tired of hearing MJ go in on Niecy I can ONLY imagine how Niecy actually feels about it. Honestly I would stop talking to her. I wouldn’t be at her house and god help me if I thought I needed her help for something. I would probably try to resurrect Jesus on my own before I asked her for anything – including a cup of water.
(5) Pops agrees with MJ that Niecy should be saving her money – wait for it – and then says he’ll buy the car. Again y’all already know MJ immediately starting channeling Hakeem Olajuwon #Blocked!
(6) Niecy tried – god bless her – to clapback and basically was like “speaking of expenses people don’t need, what’s up with that new $100,000 whip you pushing??” #Clap #Back
(7) MJ: “First, I look good in it” (actually you looked awkward dancing in it but I’m sure when you’re just driving you do look amazing because WHO WOULDN’T LOOK GOOD DRIVING A TESLA?? Sorry, I digress) and “Second, I can afford it” Q. Can you really afford MJ? Really??
(8) And again on cue, MJ: “Now if you guys handled your finances a little bit better, you too could afford the finer things in life.” AND that is why I wouldn’t be eating dinner at her table. I may not be perfect but I’ll be damned if I’m going to hear a lecture EVERY SINGLE TIME I see you. #Holla
(9) Mama Helen called her Suze Orman. I love Mama Helen.
(10) That was the exact opening MJ needed to talk about Suze Orman’s financial principles and to propose a family homework assignment involving mission statements and brainstorming ideas about financial security and a family pot for times of trouble, crisis – communal accountability #AsAFamily
(10.1) Everyone left the table WHILE she was talking. #GirlBye
(11) I’m not mad at MJ talking about financial stability, savings, money management etc. These are legit topics to cover. IT’S THE WAY SHE DOES IT!! She’s annoying as hell with that sh*t. AND given that this heffa been spending money like it’s water right now I am legit curious about the health of her own d*mn finances. What are YOUR savings looking like Ma??
(12) Cut to later that evening, Patrick is telling Pops he is planning to move out of his efficiency apartment. Pops tells him he is on his way back. Patrick says it feels good. They have a moment.
(13) MJ glances at one of her post-its (a quote from Henry D. Thoreau, I wondered where all of her yellow stickies went) and decides to just be in the moment for a change and enjoy her d*mn family. #Woosah
(14) Even with the lecture at the dinner table, this ep is starting off too calmly I wonder what’s about to happen…
(15) Annnnnd here we are at Clark Atlanta, cue drama…
(16) Annnnnd cue that one student. Y’all know her, “the truth sayer” talking about tv reporters are part of the establishment just concerned with being personalities than journalists. She, of course, is the one who comes for MJ. “No offense (which means offense is coming) they even got you checking more for you than for the stories that matter.” Why are righteous people so infuriating on this show?
(17) Intro quote from Todd Garlington: “Once people said: Give me liberty or give me death. Now they say: Make me a slave, just pay me enough.” Right. To which I say, entrepreneurship ain’t for everybody.
(18) MJ is now at the podium giving her speech about the current state of journalism – TMZ is the problem. And there’s another student, not quite as annoying as the first one but still… Anyway he says she sold out, to which MJ replies: “I didn’t sell out, I bought in.”
(19) Truth Sayer tells MJ “oh I’ve known about you ever since you got fired from CNN.” MJ tries to spin that to support her point that no one knew anything about her until something bad happened to her. She goes on a diatribe about how no one cares about well researched stories any more, no one cares about issues and truth. She’s sounds ridiculous and cynical.
(20) Truth Sayer tells MJ she lost her voice. “You sold out, that’s why we don’t trust you.” Maaaaan and would y’all believe she did NOT have a comeback? Smh. She just gon’ let that ish marinate and fester in her brain until she can’t take it any more. Sigh.
(21) Shot of MJ leaving campus and other students being happy to see her, taking selfies and asking for autographs – that was nice, not everyone hates her.
(22) There is a meeting at the extortionist’s book store. A Dr. Madhubuti is leading a talk. A mother is asking how she can protect her black son. He responds with “we” need to help protect your son and build a collective culture. #Agreed
(23) Cee Cee chimes in, she’s “been chewing on a thought” – we need to start calling our boys “boys”, give them back their childhood, they are not “lil men.” Do we not do that? I understand the larger point she’s making but how she got there… #Sigh
(24) Dr. Madhubuti elaborates about the need for creating a foundation in the home – what kind of images do you have on your walls? What kind of books are you reading? What kind of music are you listening to? Get your culture together folks #Study
(25) MJ walked in while Dr. Madhubuti is speaking. Later she tells Cee Cee that of course she’s familiar with him she just hadn’t read his books yet. Cee Cee clowns MJ’s “white schooling” – fallback Cee Cee, fallback.
(26) Cee Cee: “When the white man wants to control you he’s not gonna give you the tools to control yourself.” #EyeRoll
(27) MJ asked the extortionist if she thinks she’s a sell out ’cause why? Cause y’all cool now? Cause you really want her opinion because she’s extorting you for a good cause????? #I #CANT!
(28) Of course Cee Cee co-signs with the students. MJ replies that her “black” shows were her lowest rated, all the fighting she had to do for certain stories, stressful, not worth it, blah blah blah and so when the promotion came with more perks she took it. Cee Cee asks her why is she being so defensive. Here’s the thing that’s a good question but a better question is WHY ARE YOU HAVING THIS CONVO WITH THIS WOMAN WHO IS EXTORTING YOU?? #WELL??
(29) MJ says she wants financial freedom. Funny enough it IS Cee Cee who asks MJ what’s she doing with her money. Bills, family, extortion, Cee Cee says don’t point any fingers at her because she’s trying to help her out. Really? She can’t point at least one finger at you? And just so we’re clear the help you are providing is taking money and giving 1960s inspired “the white man is the devil” speeches? Just trying to clarify your help.
(30) Cee Cee tells MJ she’s missing the freedom she had when she was doing “Talk Back” and she doesn’t know how to get that freedom back. Okay.
(31) MJ gives Cee Cee the last payment, Cee Cee asks for a hug. MJ says no and instead takes two books for the “low low price of $25,000.” MJ tells her ain’t nobody gon’ miss you. Cee Cee laughs to herself and tells her bye and quietly says “with your bad self” – sooooo Cee Cee IS hot for MJ???
(32) And another animal story. I too am tired of these damn stories so I know MJ has to be beyond over them. Q. Is this really what people who have “Primetime” type shows do? I don’t watch Rachel Maddow regularly but I can’t believe that she routinely incorporates animal stories into her broadcasts. One every now and then fine but this is getting redundant. Come on Kara, do better!
(33) And now MJ is meditating. Good idea and good luck with that. A slow breath in and a deep breath out. She falls asleep.
(34) She wakes when she gets a text from “White Boys Can’t Jump” – he’s on his way to her place. I’m not saying anything about the title she gave him in her phone. Moving on…
(35) Wait he’s not picking her up for a date? So she legit is just having him come to her home? For dinner? Just sex?? What is going on? Also what is she wearing? Is that sexy? Seriously, y’all tell me. Is that outfit sexy??
(36) And she ran a police report on him. Umm okay I guess that’s fair. Most people just do a google search but MJ isn’t most people now is she?? Also she used to be an investigative journalist sooooo old habits die hard…? (Or someone is just extra?)
(37) And I have my answer, someone is just extra. Extra as fck really. Good grief woman! You ask the man if he wants something to eat and then you lift the lid on the serving platter and reveal a stack of home STD tests???!!???? THIS was the best way to do this? Sigh. I can’t. I don’t want to any more. Again, sigh. I’m gonna try and keep going…
(38) What WAS funny was the look on his face “W.T.F?” – exactly white dude exactly. Q. Does he have a name? Anyway apparently she does this to EVERYONE. She’s been this much of a crazy person about sex since college but it’s so much more efficient now because now we have rapid home tests. She’s gonna take the tests too ’cause “fair” – Hep C, HIV – some are swabs, others are urine and a few are just pricks. Yep.
(39) So I don’t actually know what to make of this. Yes safe sex, most assuredly safe sex. At all times SAFE SEX. And yet THIS approach is WOOOOOOOOOOOW. I guess if you are committed to causal sex and there’s no need to develop a rapport and trust and have a convo about STDs and where is this headed yada yada then yes I can understand a more efficient/direct way of saying I need to know your sexual health status is helpful but again, HER approach?? Ummmmm… Q. Would she have pulled this stunt on Sheldon? You know what, never mind, Sheldon probably would have done it to her first. Moving on…
(40) Next we get a bunch of visuals of the test taking process. When they FINALLY got to the sex at least it looked like she was enjoying herself. I certainly hope so. Sheesh.
(41) She took a pic of him sleeping (with a bright a*s flash) and texted Kara. MJ is really 15 yrs old. I get it now.
(42) She recaps the experience with Kara later. Until now MJ had never slept with a white guy. Apparently the pink of his “apparatus” was a bit startling. Hmmm, maybe she’s 12?
(43) OMG! WHO SAYS “chomp the box”??? WHO??? SOMEBODY TELL ME WHO??? Did BET make that call??? ARGH!!
(44) Lawd GEE-ZUS what is Cee Cee wearing??? I want Loretta Devine to stop doing this role. Right now. Please???
(45) Sorry again I digressed. Cee Cee shows up to revise the advice: “Don’t tear down to build.” Right. She tells MJ to keep “Prime Time” and take back “Talk Back.” We also learn that Cee Cee has been posted up outside MJ’s house for a minute because she knows MJ let a white dude hit it. #Stalker
(46) Before she leaves, she tells MJ that she should bring her niece and nephew (technically her great nephew but semantics) to the bookstore for a children’s event ’cause it’s all good now. And yet MJ warns her to not come back or else she would call the cops. Really MJ? NOW you gon’ call the cops? #Girl #Bye
(47) MJ observes Nischelle Turner interviewing Donna Brazile on the current iteration of “Talk Back”. Afterward she tells Greg she wants her show back AND yes she is going to keep “Prime Time” as well. So are you kicking Nischelle outta her job??? Cause that’s a solidarity move. #Sarcasm
(48) Patrick is fired up about moving. Tracy notes that he’s been “a ball of energy” lately. Also if Patrick gets fired for stealing boxes I am OFFICIALLY quitting this show. #Friday 😉
(49) Kara peeps MJ working late. MJ updates her on wanting “Talk Back” back. Nope she did not talk to Kara first which may have been for the best since Kara is like yeah so that’s cool but I’m not on board for all that extra work you talking about. She has more than enough on her plate with “Prime Time”, revamping Mark’s show AND being a mom. PLUS they reduced the producer fee on “Talk Back” so she’s good on that nonsense.
(50) Kara tells MJ she should produce the show. MJ tries again to convince her that she needs her because it is ALWAYS about what MJ wants. AL-WAYS. Finally she seems to hear what Kara is saying and says well what about Marisol. Now y’all know Kara cannot STAND Marisol’s narrow behind and of course she’s shoots that idea down. I do feel like there’s a little too much hate there without validity. Yes MJ you are indeed detecting shade. Massive shade.
(51) MJ says she knows Kara will be back. Kara said “Bye Felicia” #ThatHappened
(52) Tracy tells Patrick she is getting out of the halfway house. Patrick is like “that’s cool, good for you.” Tracy is like “aren’t we getting back together” and Patrick is like “naaaaaaah but I’m all down for rocking this co-parenting situation, ya feel me?” Tracy does not feel him and tries to guilt him into taking her back ’cause that’s a great way to get someone to take you back. Patrick responds with “you taking my kindness for happily ever after and that ain’t what it is, I’ve told you this before but you ain’t trying to hear me though. Yes I love you and yeah I’ll look out for you but that’s it.” At least Partick and I agree on this front, Tracy’s a*s needs to get a grip.
(53) MJ’s white dude texted her asking when can he show her his pinkness again. Paraphrasing. But seriously after that battery of tests we need to go at least another 15, 20 maybe 30 more rounds #IJS
(54) Tracy shows up at MJ’s job to snitch on Patrick. So she did that because she’s mad or because she’s really concerned? Anyway, MJ asks if she has any evidence. Tracy is like I’m a junkie I know the signs. Actually I would be inclined to take her at her word in this instance. MJ is, per usual, rude and arrogant and threatens to call the police if Tracy ever shows up at her office again. Tracy calls her a b*tch. #IfThePradaFits…
(55) MJ and Patrick chat about the incident at MJ’s place. It was a set up. Patrick admits that he’s taking something to help him focus and Paul Sr and Mama Helen come out from the hallway on some WTF are you saying son?
(56) Patrick tries to get them to understand the distinction between street drugs and using someone else’s prescription to help you focus #Smdh
(57) Paul Sr: “We are tired of your shit. You are a liar. We’re keeping D’Asia. We’ve drained our bank account for you. Wasted 15 years of our lives trying to help you. You need to take your a*s back to Rehab. Get your life together!”
(58) Real talk that was the REALEST scene this show has EVER produced. EVER! Thank you Richard Roundtree. THANK YOU!
BEING MARY JANE