(1) We open with MJ in bed with the White Guy. He is trying to get her to go on a date with him. Like leave the house. A movie, a restaurant. He specifically mentioned “fresh air.” Is he being held captive???
(2) She gets up to go get him some water and there’s a white woman arguing with a cab driver in her driveway. Now the white woman is ringing her doorbell, she runs back into her bedroom and White Guy asks who might that unexpected visitor be? Apparently it is David’s mother. #DunDunDun!
(3) White Guy tells MJ “you know you should really get that gate fixed.” YES MJ! Damnit!! Get your DAMN gate fixed or hire some temporary security or put up a temporary gate or some ish! You are too grown, make too much money and are too solidly b-list celebrity for this BS. Cut it out already! #GetYoLife!
(4) “Simone” is David’s Momma’s name. Played by Meredith Baxter #FamilyTies
(5) Wait. What? Woman you came over here to tell me that? About the birth of David’s baby and then in the next breath that he still loves me?? AND bring up Lisa??? Word Simone? Word???
(5.1) Leah Beckett Polk #BabyName
(5.2) Sidebar: I’ve actually had a similar situation happen to me – not the suicide of a BF – the mother of an ex-boyfriend calling me up championing for her son so I get it and in my case it almost worked. Almost. I did love his mother though, too bad he just, well… #MovingOn
(6) Continuing, well I’m glad we’re not going to let this season end without mentioning Lisa at least one more time. Pretty sure we ki-ki’d our way through at least 3, 4, maybe 5 episodes without mentioning her name once.
(7) MJ to Simone: “Would you forgive your son if you were me?” / Simone: *struggles to answer “Would I….?” / MJ: “No. You wouldn’t.” Then they started playing Mary J. Blige’s “No More Drama” which I always think of and call her “The Young & The Restless” song so now I’m definitely in a soap opera vibe when MJ starts going in:
“Simone, at no point in your drive over here did you just stop and think, ‘Maybe I should leave this woman alone because she’s been through enough’? No, you just want what you want and to hell with anyone else’s pain. Screw me, right?”
I only included the entire monologue because I feel like someone could have delivered the exact same speech to her but maybe I’m biased in my dislike of her character. #Maybe
(7.1) Still I do like her robe #SalmonColored
(8) Intro quote: “Save the drama for your mama.” #AfricanAmericanProverb – now that’s a quote I can get behind #Hello!
(9) YAAAASSSS!!! This jacket MJ is wearing is EVERY THING!!! YAAASSS!!! GIRL! Wear that!!! BEAUTIFUL!! And again lovely make-up! Please keep this person on the team for next season. YAAAAASS HUNTY! Your character may drive me absolutely nuts but I’ll admit heffa knows how to SLAY! (Sorry I didn’t get a chance to get a screenshot of it, slipping.)
(10) Sorry I got carried away for a sec. MJ is now at CeCe’s bookstore giving that talk she promised or was coerced into doing. I can’t keep up.
(11) She tells CeCe she came because CeCe is not the only person who cares about the black community #Okay
(12) CeCe: “…but for real this is a genuine thank you, unattached to the hustle” #BishPlease
(13) WAYMENT! Why is she telling CeCe about her meeting with a publisher??? What is happening?? Are you REALLY going to use this extortion shit for your book? You’re going to come clean about that and CeCe should just go along with this? Umm extortion is illegal. Like a legit crime. #HELLO????
(14) CeCe: “Sure, why not?” #ICant
(15) Sooooo White Guy and MJ’s first date is karaoke and they are doing “Rapper’s Delight.” Sigh. Also, she is apparently not all that concerned about making her dating life very public. Even if she had been there with a black dude, the place looks crowded and e’rybody is paparazzi nowadays.
(15.1) And then she spots a black couple and they are not cheering and clapping and laughing like everyone else was re her karaoke performance with the White Guy. Cue overthinking dating the White Guy. Smh. You’re having fun girl, go with it. Damn!
(16) Okay “Being Mary Jane” I see you incorporating “The Real” into the mix! Shout out to Wendy Rose Berry for all the work she puts in over there!!! WERK!!
(16.1) And cue a picture from your very public outing going viral and becoming a topic for the talk show circuit. Specifically re how you went from complaining about black men not checking for black women and being an “ugly black woman to dating a “gorgeous white guy.” #And??
(16.2) Why is MJ being called a hypocrite? It would appear to me that she did something about the problem she was having. #Haters
(16.3) Tamera asked the audience a “what do you think question”: “Are we still tripping on interracial relationships?”
Me (if I were in the audience): “I don’t care what any one thinks, it’s my life, mind your own damn business.” #Next
(17) Back at SNC, Greg who is seeming like less of a douche right now, is trying to convince MJ to capitalize on the attention MJ’s interracial outing is getting. He wants Talk Back’s first show to be this topic. MJ is NOT feeling it ’cause she played herself doing that egg freezing segment. Smh.
(18) Kara stands in the door of MJ’s office and makes funny faces behind Greg’s back. She is silly.
(19) Ahhhh there’s a flash of douchey Greg. He tells him MJ he didn’t want to have to do this BUT since he DID give her the show back he is now pulling one of his cards. This topic IS your first show #DealWithIt
(20) As much as Greg STILL annoys me, I do agree with him here. Hell it’s already public. She should totally capitalize on it, publicly address her personal concerns, the pros/cons and then go broad with the topic #Duh #IMightBeAProducer 😉
(21) So now Kara is trying to be cool with Marisol? Marisol ain’t trying to hear that ish and Kara had the nerve to look suprised. Again, but in a totally different way Kara is funny.
(22) MJ goes to tell her team – she called them “crusaders” – about interracial dating being their first topic. They were all fired up about other stories and get super aggy when she delivers the news. Truth Sayer immediately had something smart to say: “You know I didn’t sign up to do the fluff pieces.” AND this heffa picks up her shit like “holla.”
(22.1) Ohhhh oookaaaaaay! MJ came back at her!! “And anyone else would have fired your a*s for what you just said.” Yeah Truth Sayer sit yo a*s down. MJ says she is mentoring them to compensate for their terrible paychecks. “Lesson number one, this is life. Deal with it.” Hey I JUST said that to you!!
(23) I know Niecy and the kids legit live in the grandparent’s house but playing hide n seek INSIDE the house at this juncture just doesn’t seem like a good idea. Lil man is kicking toys out of the way and both of y’all are running through the house. Why not go outside? Go to a park??
(24) Annnnnnd Pops Roundtree says EXACTLY what I just said “what I tell you about running in the house?” Of course he then says it’s okay because he loves his grand and great-grandkids but still Niecy come on girl. #DoBetter
(25) PJ is still at home, apparently still channeling French Montana and “ain’t worried about nothing.” No one has really talked to Patrick. Niecy got a text saying “I love you” and that was it. See you next season Patrick! It’s been real!!
(26) Pops Roundtree tells PJ it’s good that he is stepping up for Niecy, she should “know how it feels to have a man step up for her.” I hear you Pops! #Truth!!
(27) And THERE’S uptight AF Greg. Oh he’s angry. Oooohhh Marisol went to HR and complained about Kara’s allegations that she was having an affair with Greg. Actually I’m wondering what took her so long.
(28) Cute yellow top on MJ. Seriously her wardrobe is WINNING!!
(29) MJ tells Kara to just talk to Marisol. I agree MJ. Kara is shitty, talking about Marisol broke the code and how much ish SHE had to put up while she was climbing the ladder. Cue rant about Millienals, “they have no filter, they have no loyalty and they don’t know anything about paying dues.” I’m not one but I don’t automatically go in on outright dismissing them as a whole. If anything they sound entitled and privileged. That’s not a NEW trait. Anyway…
(29.1) I don’t know about Marisol coming to you like a grown a*s woman Kara, (a) you came at her HARD AF twice and (b) you are pretty damn intimidating. HR actually seems likes a good move on her part and simultaneously a wack move in some ways but really you had it coming…
(29.2) Yes Kara. You need to acknowledge and own your shit. Apologize. YOU be the grown up here? I hear you re groveling but if that’s what it is going to take to keep your job then you need to figure that ish out. Q. Is this why your marriage didn’t work? Just asking.
(30) Aaaaannnnnnd here we go, the interracial dating episode. Again, MJ’s make-up is KILLER! And I think I like her dress, well the top of it anyway. Nice look MJ.
(31) Oh. So they just cut to an oral sex shot with White Guy and her. Alrighty then. Guess this show’s 10:00p start time is appropriate after all.
(32) Sigh. Now MJ and the White Guy are having dinner at her place. I do love this outfit as well. MJ’s wardrobe the last several shows has been OUTSTANDING! Sorry, again I digress. So White Guy brings up the fact that MJ is the second black woman he’s dated who over-analyzed every move she made at work and her entire life. Uh oh. Why he say that? Bet money she’s about to end this.
MJ: “You understand why don’t you?” / White Guy: “No. It’s exhausting and draining and a complete waste of time.” Yep, it’s over.
(32.1) He asks MJ to enlighten him. She’s not interested. Here’s the thing I DO hear her on not wanting to explain EVERYTHING racial all the time BUT I also believe in educating people IF I think they genuinely want to know something – whether we’re dating or not. 😉
(32.2) ADDENDUM: Because two people have asked AND because I do believe in educating folks, MJ referenced her “kitchen” and noted that she was not talking about the room in her house. White Guy had a quizzical look on his face. Via Urban Dictionary – “Kitchen” is the hair on the back of you neck that is nappy, un-tameable. As used in a sentence: “Damn your kitchen look messed up. or Man your kitchen is lookin’ like whoopi goldbers’ arm pit.”
(32.3) And as we all saw coming, MJ tells White Guy they can’t date any more. He says “What? Are you serious? Wow. Wow.” #Lmao!
(33) Sidebar: Wait, how did I NOT know about FKA Twigs and Robert Pattison being engaged?? I musta forgot. Hmmmm
(34) MJ tells him he will never fully understand. I don’t think that’s a fair statement to make, perhaps not ever “fully” get it but who can ever fully understand anyone else’s entire experience? I’m not a man so I’m never going to FULLY get what that’s like BUT I am smart and will ask a ton of questions so I can start to at least try to understand stuff. ANYway, IMO it is short-sighted thinking is all I’m saying. You just don’t want to spend the time explaining this stuff to him which is fair. To the extent that you can avoid certain struggles do it. You just don’t like him enough and that’s fine. Cause your truth is you like black men, you want black love. Got it. And as White Guy noted he can’t give you that. #BuhBye
(35) Geez Kara. No no no. Don’t take that approach. This is terrible. “Oooooh girl where did you get those freaking fabulous shoes??!! I love them! They’re amazing” Ugh! NO KARA! You sound ridiculous! Just come clean, please be a grownup and just address it head on. Kara: “Did I say something upsetting?” I CAN’T! Yes heffa TWICE!
(35.1) This is SUPER irritating! Why did they write this piece for her like this?? This is BS. Now Marisol has the leg up and tells Kara to offer her the anchor spot on her new show. Exactly.
(36) I said it much earlier in this show but I have no problem repeating, Gabrielle really does look good in yellow. Too bad the fabric isn’t wrinkle free #TskTsk
(37) So of course MJ sees David, Baby Leah and Mother of Baby Leah. Ouch. Neither of them spoke. I’m actually not mad at how that played out. Don’t know if I could have played it the same way but I definitely respect the choice.
(38) And cue mentioning Lisa because we can’t mention David and not mention Lisa and apparently we can’t mention Lisa at all UNLESS the thought or reality of David prompts it. Siiiiigh. Hadn’t they been best friends since the third grade or something? Basically they knew each other their entire lives and David came along when??? #Right
(39) Q. If you think your car crash was a “blessing” that helped you get off a certain path you were on then why are you still the way you are? Has there been growth? Have I missed it??
(40) Oh, here it is, your growth. I will say this much about this show. If I just pipe down for two seconds and wait I usually get my answer. Usually but not always. So the changes have been (a) CeCe (eye roll) reminding you of why you got into journalism in the first place (not you getting clowned at Clark Atlanta though? Okay); (2) You’ve now got two shows; (3) You’re dating for fun again AND (4) You’re in a good emotional state #Alright
(41) So Marisol got that anchor position and she STILL went through with the HR complaint. Sexual and racial harassment y’all. Whew!! Marisol went HARD! So for the time being Kara gets to keep her job, but she has to do an interview and in the meantime she cannot have direct contact with Marisol – the person who is talent on the show she is producing. That heffa got her a*s and got her GOOD! #Wooooow
(42) O.M.F.G! So this co-authored book thing is really happening?? MJ had CeCe meet her at the publishing office?? FOR REALS??!! So we are REALLY turning this extortion ish into a “legit” good thing? It’s ILLEGAL!!
(43) Master Cleanse reference – I don’t know anyone who doesn’t know about that cleanse but then again I’m of a certain age AND I live in LA so #OldNews but if you’re curious click on the link.
(44) This meeting – CRAZY. CeCe is running her mouth like a champ. Mentioning the arrangement with SNC and the non-disclosure agreement not including MJ and how that was her “in” to exhort money from MJ. Yeah MJ why DID you let her do it? You weren’t legally drunk. I can’t. CeCe pipes up (again) and says she did it because she didn’t want to lose her job. Help me.
(44.1) CeCe gives this long passionate speech about the kids and her bookstore being their university and doing what you have to do to nourish the children.
(44.2) Sidebar: I’m at home on my sofa looking around my living room wondering if anyone else is seeing and hearing what I’m seeing and hearing. Just wondering…
(44.3) Sidebar: CeCe’s outfit…
(45) Ooooooooooooohhhhh so this was a set up. Ahhhhhh, interesting. Real talk, I honestly did not see that coming but now it does make sense. Whew! Also well damn that was f*cking extreme. Also, I’m tired. Are we done yet?
(46) No we are not. CeCe to MJ: “You slutty drunk b*tch” / “I’m a community leader, b*tch!” Okay I straight up CACKLED at that one! #RealTears
Continuing: “Sh*t, I’m probably the only friend you have, you killed the last one.” Well damn now THAT was a low blow and umm she does have Kara CeCe, IJS…
(47) MJ: “I am sick of people taking it too far with me.” Perhaps a fair point but maybe you should have realized that 9 episodes ago when all of this ish kicked off?? Sorry there I go again bringing up old shit #MyBad
(48) LMAO! Alana looked nervous as hell when CeCe said she was going to write her book while she was locked up and then come check her out when she gets out. Then she winked at her. Of course cause #AggressiveLesbian
(49) Q. Umm so is MJ actually still planning to include this extortion business in the book or not?? And this elaborate a*s sting operation she concocted?? #LegitQuestion
(50) Flashback sequence: the accident, her wrecked face, arguing with Lisa, being an “ugly black woman” while looking FLAWLESS (sigh), convos with her boss telling her to tone down the “all black agenda”, the white woman who she replaced on Prime Time telling her she has no idea what she’s getting into, arguing with Niecy, Patrick coming at her, helping her mom with her meds, breaking up with the married man (Omari Hardwick), breaking up with Sheldon Dewitt, struggling with David, drinking waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much, more struggling with David. Right. #DoBetterMJ!
(51) Then she gets a text from Niecy about the new car and her reply was positive and lecture free #Progress!!
(52) Good lord. Then Niecy gets pulled over. She’s been in that car for like what? Two minutes???
(53) Damnit. I don’t want to watch this. Sigh. I’m not detailing how we got to the final result but Niecy ends up tased and on the ground with her kids in the car and the footage goes viral.
(54) Cut to the Crusaders watching the video in the studio. Truth Sayer a.k.a. “Nina” starts talking about we can’t do fluff pieces any more – y’all only did one. Girl be quiet.
(55) In conclusion, MJ watches the video and I think has an out of body experience. So now we’ll get to see if MJ uses all of her resources to officially go H.A.M. Perhaps a full court press re Black Lives Matter?? Guess we’ll just have to see…
It’s been a ride y’all. Thanks for reading. 🙂