Scandal (S4:E9) – “Where The Sun Don’t Shine” a.k.a. “Where My Heart Stopped Eight Times” a.k.a. “Where Shonda Took ALL My Edges” #RecapList

(1) January 29th??? Well maybe I can finally leave the house on Thursday nights again. And/or I can also FINALLY catch up on #Bones #Parenthood and #AHSFreakShow

(2) What was that headless fossil thing on Rowan/Eli’s desk?? Was that a message? WAS THAT A MESSAGE ROWAN/ELI??? ANSWER ME!

(3) Not even TWO MINUTES IN & HOT D*MN THERE GO #MamaPope!! #ThankYouBaby #Ha!!

(3.1) (Note: Not even two minutes in and I’m already yelling at the screen #ImNotGonnaMakeIt)

(4) Only Mama Pope comes out of a cement hole in the ground with her edges intact #BenefitsOfAGoodWeave

(5) Mama Pope talkin’ bout “we” gon’ sue #SheCrazyAsHell!

(6) “Tell ‘em, Livvie, handle them” / Liv’s inner monologue #ByeFelicia

(7) “As for my father hunt him, find him and kill him” Ummm #GoodLuckWithThat

(8) Huck: “He’s here in his room, I traced his phone” #NotExactlyHelpingYourCase

(9) LOVE Lisagay Hamilton!! #Ambassador!! #MoreOfHer!

(10) Liv to Liz: “Say what now Heffa?!??? Miss me w/ that BS quote ’bout women not supporting women. You. Are. The. Shadiest!” #

(11) “Sexy-time photos” #Giggles

(12) Y’all see Mellie’s face when Liv dropped that VP Andrew info??? Mellie’s like “come again? / “Dayum can I keep ONE man to myself”???

(13) Aide re Cy’s photos: “oh sir, oh sir” #ThatWasFunny

(14) The headlines!! “Chief of Staffs” (pun totally intended!) / “Beene, Busted” / “Cyrus’ Dirty Tricks” #NYPost? #HuffPo? #Gawker??

(15) Kimrie you betta call Abby out on her dodge: “Does Cyrus have a twin brother we don’t know about?” / Abby: “Really Ashley, really?” #LMAO! #YaaaaaaayKimrie!!

(16) I know Cyrus is like where da fck is Charlie?? #1800Assassin

(17) Liv to Cy: “Get married” Yep cause that solves ALL problems! #FullSarcasm

(18) Cy re Michael: “Rent, own, whatever” / “#IHateYouSoMuchRightNow” #Kelis

(19) Cy: “You are now the most famous gay hooker in gay-hooker history, you could write a book / play yourself in the porn version, ‘Inside Cyrus Beene’ ” #MouthOpen #WOW!!!!

(20) Cy talkin’ about he didn’t understand sex with women #SupremeComedy!

(21) DON’T DIE JAKE! #ThatMirrorSavedHisDamnLife

(22) “Kill card” well that’s unnerving #Hmmm

(23) Aaaaannnnd there’s Charlie #HornyCharlie #Gross / Ooohhhh Quinn No! #Ugh

(24) That’s true lawyers do love paper. It’s NOT weird Quinn! It’s genetic! #Hmpf!!

(25) OPA: “hey we have a dead body let’s use that!”

(26) Jake is a little (ok a lot) turned on right now – y’all see it too right? #LivsGotAGun

(27) Liv to Jake: “The sun has set, it’s cold out” #GetABlanket #LightAFireHomie

(28) So everybody gets a*s all the time everywhere in the White House is that it??? #VPAndrewAndLiz

(29) Cy talkin’ about Nixon, that’s a BAD sign.

(30) “Thank you for your service Cy, it’s been an honor” OMG WHAT IS THIS MOISTURE IN MY EYE???!

(31) MAAAAAAN as much sh*t that has gone down since this show started we can handle this Cy! #ComeOnSon!!

(32) NO CY NOOOOOOOOOO! DON’T GO CY!! PLEASE DON’T GO! STAY AND MARRY SHADY MICHAEL!!

(33) Imma need Abby to get her game face better together #SubpoenaQuestion

(34) She tried to warn you David but nah you ain’t wanna listen – OMG SHONDA STARTED PLAYING LIONEL RICHIE & DIANA ROSS! “Endless Love”???!!?? ARE U FREAKING KIDDING ME?? / David: “That will be all” #LAWD!

(35) U discover that he came to kill you and you slap him? #NoHonorAmongThieves – AND ‘ENDLESS LOVE’ STILL PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND! #SoundTrackWin

*In hindsight @ the 30 min mark is when sh*t. got. really REAL!

(36) AAAAAAAAIIIIEEEEEHHH PAPA POPE!! YOU WILL NOT BRING STEVIE WONDER INTO THIS – U DID NOT BRING “SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE” INTO THIS!

(37) PAPA POPE JUST PULLED A GUN ON HIS DAUGHTER!!!!  MY HEART!! JESUS MY. HEART!!!! #PopeVsPope!!

(38) I. Should. Not. Have. Watched. This. Alone. (I lied about the defibrillator) #IMightNotMakeIt

(39) AND THEN HE YELLED AT HER! LAWD!!! I almost ran and hide my damn self!!!!

(40) Papa Pope yelling: “Could you be more ungrateful!!!” / “There would be NO Olivia pope if not for me!!!” #I #AM #WEAK!!

(41) “Clan of good old boys” (Ok real talk, I had to take a real pause here and just take stock of my life because the stellar combo of his acting and these lines is compelling me to step my game all the way up.) Soooooooooooooooo DAMN Good!!

(42) Full line: “But instead of gratitude, I get scorn, ridicule, mockery and worst of all a daughter who sends in her clan of good old boys to kill me, your own blood, every chance u get!!!” #I #DIE!

(43) Umm Liv u can’t just aim it at him pretty sure u have to use it #ShootToMaim??

(44) I can’t even look directly at his face right now#SoScary!

(45) Ooohhh wait, oh, ohh, ohhhhhh NOOOOOOO! #SHIT!

(46) His reaction when the gun clicked????? #Masterful! Simply MASTERFUL!!

(47) “ARE U KIDDING ME?” / “U JUST SHOT YOUR OWN FATHER!” AND THEN HE JUST TOOK IT FROM HER! THERE ARE SOOOOO MANY LAYERS HERE!! I CAN. NOT!!

(48) AND THEN THIS DUDE FINISHES THE STORY!!!!!!! #EmmyPlease!

(49) Quinn: “Oh my tooth” / Charlie: “The new one?” #YeahILaughed

(50) Still don’t trust it. Quinn get the fck outta there! Wait, did she just say “I should call you more”? Girl you act like you dating in LA. #Smdh

(51) Y’all see the way Mama Pope leaned back to listen to her daughter’s tirade?? #ThisGoneBeGood!!!

(52) “You have a PhD in his crazy” #GoodLine!

(53) Mama Pope: “Girl u need to move on”!! #YAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS!

(54) “Running around with BOYS” and THAT’S WHY THEY GOT MARRIED!

(55) SHE SAID “LOOK AROUND BOO!” And THAT’S WHY I FCKS WITH THIS SHOW!!!

(56) “Cry me a river Livvie. Whatever.” #I #LOVE #THIS #SHOW!

(57) “So they were mean-girling you, so what!” #ManUpCy!

(58) “The Cy I know doesn’t hide in his half empty closet and wet his pants like a little b*tch baby!” I mean this IS a true statement #WhoAreYouCy! (Umm am I the only one who thought they were going to kiss?)

(59) That interview of Cy & Michael #Handled

(60) “I’m marrying a whore,  at least I know what I’m paying for, right?” #IMean…

(61) Mellie to Liz re sharing the same penis: “Just makes us both at risk for the same STDs” / Mellie like: “Chile u don’t even know the half of what I’ve done to get here #BishPlease!

B27tBGACAAAJ9V2

(62) Liv’s makeup looks so pretty (when she was skulking in the door) #PrettyStalker ;-)

(63) I have to pause again – I am at the final 10 min mark and my heart is jumping out of my chest. Someone is going to die. This is Shonda and this is Scandal. Some. One. Is. Going. To. Die.  Tole y’all earlier I lied ’bout that defibrillator. I’m sorry. I LIED OK!??! Geezus Shonda! Why u gotta do this to me? WHY SHONDA WHY??? No way in hell I can watch #HTGAWM after this – kidding, I’m gonna be up all night. #StreamOfConsciousness

(64) I knew he was gonna try and show her some paperwork, hell that might scare her more, totally hope those are copies #HuckNeedsAHug

(65) Damn VP Andrew what are YOU up to? Why come Fitz can get a decent VP? #ErybodyShady!

(66) Just realized Liv hasn’t told Jake about Papa Pope’s visit. Smh. AND WHERE IS YOUR BODYGUARD???

(67) Awwww I have my father’s album collection also but please note that my dad was NOTHING like Papa Pope #Whew!

(68) “Don’t you worry about a thing” the hell u say Stevie, are u watching the same show I’M watching??!?? Also #SoundtrackHomeRun

(69) Liv I believe you’ve mentioned this #TeamMe thing before but I do know sometimes  things don’t take the first time so I wish you well (again).

(70) THE SUSPENSE IS MAKING MY HEART SKIP BEATS! Seriously I can barely keep watching. I want my mommy.

(71) Whew! Look at least no one died! I’m only calm about Liv’s kidnapping b/c I know she ain’t dead, not that I thought she was gonna die I mean she can’t, well not yet anyway… I mean didn’t we already kinda know Liv was gonna start a war at some point, some how, some where?? #HelenOfTroy! ;-)

(72) AND somebody promise me that once Liv is rescued she moves into a fortress I can’t take this open door policy ish no mo!

AND THIS HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS SHOW IS OUT-DAMN-STANDING!!!

#Scandal!

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Black-ish (S1:E8) – “Oedipal Triangle” #RecapList

(1) Dre: “Behind many a great black man is a strong woman who sacrificed to raise him right – his mama. And my mama’s the best, sorry other great black men” – LMAO!! #SorryNotSorry!

(2) Dre said his son had that “eye-watering puberty funk” #GROSS! (Funny as hell tho)

(3) Dre in his gray Easter suit is PURE COMEDY!

(4) Mama Ruby sound like Mama Joyce – she wore white to their wedding, cut in on their first dance and was disruptive during the “anyone have any objections” part #LadyMightaGotCut

(5) Bow re Mama Ruby’s visit: “WINTER IS COMING!” #OutDamnStanding!!!

(6) Dre & Mama Ruby’s greeting: “Shake, shake, shake, shake up the love” (repeat) – mouth open and then I howled #YAAASSSS!

(7) Most inappropriate gifts EVAH! #Thongs #Nunchuks #GrandTheftAuto5

(8) Mama Ruby re her ‘Fro: “This is all natural-zulu-cherokee blend. I don’t let anyone hot comb out my heritage” – I AM OFFICIALLY ON THE FLOOR! SCREAMING!!!

(9) Zoey re Jr’s love interest: “#HopeShePurells” WORD??? #MeanGirlMuch?

(10) “Fried pork chops, biscuits, thick-a*s gravy” #MamaCooking!!

(11) Mama Ruby to Bow (who is a doctor): “Oh that’s just doctor nonsense” #LookyHereLady…

(12) Mama Ruby: “Rainbow, honey, I make real food” #FightingWords

(13) Mama Ruby: “Therapy’s just not something our people do. We have Jesus and baths.” That’s it, I quit, Jennifer Lewis is DESTROYING ME RIGHT NOW!!! #DOA!

(14) Mama Ruby: “No judgement” / Bow: “No Ruby”

(15) Dre ain’t SH*T! “So I should never talk to my mom again right?” #Negro….

(16) Dis here grown/husband man sleep on his Mama leg is sooooo damn funny #Tears!

(17) Charlie: “Nope, brothers do NOT do that!” #TellEm!! #YouOnYourOwnBruh!!

(18) Loved Diane’s mini ‘fro! (But Mama Ruby WAS all the way outta pocket for not checking with Bow first) #Smh

(19) Diane re Dre trying to do her hair: “He ignored my screams” #TenderHeaded #ThePainIsRealYall!!!

(20) “Tonight we’re going to eat your mother’s little red pebbles” #Quinoa

#Blackish!

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