(1) Oooooooo check out blonde hair Cookie! #AllGoldEverything
(2) How is Lucius going to tell Cookie to not be nervous? Negro wouldn’t you be??? Hell you ain’t the one looking at a 17 year bid #HMPF!
(2.1) Awwww look at Baby Hakeem. He was so cute #WhatHappened? #Jokes
(3) Is Lucious singing?? Yep. Lord… #YoureSoBeautiful #HallwayCrooner He sang “got me watching you” – well that was a lie for a good 17 years now wasn’t it???? #IAintForgot
(4) Cookie luxuriating on Lucious’ bed, eating breakfast like “yep, this is where I belong.” #SatinSheets and #SweetTreats
(5) Cookie just told Lucious he could do a Cialis commercial and admitted that Lucious is the only to have had her “cookie” ever (wow but I guess it makes sense if she didn’t get none in the pen #IJS) and then Lucious admitted he’s been a hoe for YEARS but we already knew that didn’t we?
(6) Quote: “Get rid of fake ass Halle Berry! As long as she’s around I’m closed for business” PARTNA! #HerOrMe!
(7) Cookie to Lucious: “I’m gonna make you immortal baby. ‘Lucious Lyon Legacy’ #Concert #Documentary #RemakeSong #YouHakeemANDJamal. Cookie got ideas yo! Got the whole situation all the way planned out. That’s how you do it! #Bam (Sidebar: he can stop singing any day now, like ANY day now).
(8) Key quote: “You want Cookie’s nookie, ditch the b*tch” #SPEAK!!!
(9) Lucious is lying – he ain’t even ’bout to get rid of Kitty Anika #BelieveItWhenISeeIt
(10) Hakeem know church?? Say what now??? #JesusKnowHisHeart
(11) Hakeem got jokes talking about Jamal gon’ be in therapy in 25 years, you gon’ be right there with him, playa. Wait, is Hakeem trying to grow up? How long is this going to last? #Hmmmm
(12) And now we have the black Partridge Family. Oh wait I guess technically that was the Jacksons. Ok real talk, that scene was like cool in theory but hella corny in practice. #YouThoughtItToo
(13) So wait Andre doesn’t have ANY musical talent?? Like at all? He over there lurking in the shadows like some sociopath. Oh, wait, he IS tripolar #Business #Hood #SadClown
(14) Damn, on TV projects move fast. Jamal & Hakeem already talking about recording songs, Lucious is hiring a director with an accent #FullSpeedAhead!
(15) Lucious re Ryan: “That’s a man for you” #HeDontEvenKnow that man ’bout to be checking for your son #NotGonnaLikeDemApples
(16) Anika to Lucious: “You made my father commit fraud??” And THAT’S how Anika stays in the picture! “AND I know you slept with Cookie” – Lucious’ reaction was HYSTERICAL! This fool gon’ blame blowing Cookie’s back out on his ALS. #ICant!
(17) On this show Boo Boo Anika might not even make it to next weekend walking making threats and whatnot. #RememberBunkie
(18) How were you supposed to be included Andre? Do you hum? Play a mean harmonica? Cymbals? Wind chimes?? I think he likes being crazy.
(19) Rhonda look like she could be Jim Carrey’s daughter in that one movie #TheMask
(20) Wow so wifey gets pimped out as well?? E’rybody on this show is messy as hell. #EVERY #BODY
(21) Cookie re her “beef” with Hakeem – “He started it!” #Hilarious. Also, “miss me with that Dr. Phil shit” #True (Sidebar: I think Terrence Howard might actually have a condition, not ALS but something. Can’t quite put my finger on what’s going on with him.)
(22) Hakeem: “You ain’t the boss of me and you like Jamal better” – maybe it’s because you are disrespectful spoiled BRAT! #YouThinkAboutThat??
(23) Word Cookie and Hakeem? Lucious goes all Iyanla Vanzant and just like that “y’all good”? #Oooookaaaaaay
(24) And just like that Ryan has a date with Jamal. Ryan: “Hey” / Jamal: “Hey” / Ryan: “Do you want to get a drink this Saturday?” / Jamal: “Yeah” #Simple
(25) Q. Is Ryan supposed to be the next Spike Lee? Gay Spike Lee I mean. “Your father is lucky to get me.” Boy what else have you done? #WhereYoCredits??
(26) Why does Lucious have that lollipop?? Did HE make that choice??? It doesn’t work. Stop it. Oh and now he has jokes about Jamal’s gayness? Saying those lyrics don’t really “suit” him?? “Type of song that makes a woman love a man” Aiiiiight Lucious #YouAnAsshole
(27) Quote: “Did you get rid of Fake Ass Lena Horne? No? Well then #NoNuckieFromCookie”
(28) Lucious faking, ain’t nothing wrong with him. See! There he go again using his ALS to his advantage. Smh. And of course he liked being slapped. I kinda want to turn the channel right now. (I didn’t but I thought about it, I’m mad at him) #HeAintNoGoodCookie!
(29) Wow Mr. Blakeley literally ROLLED in like “Heeeeeeeey Rhonda” #DoubleScotchPlease
(30) HA!!! Camilla/Naomi: “But Mother thinks you sound better” (Reminded me of Amber Rose talkin’ bout #MuvaGivesFacts) Continuing: “You don’t want me to be your mother anymore?” #Gag! She just said when Puff Daddy used to wear suits. First, they mentioned Puff, second when he “used to” wear suits #Comedy – y’all keeping Jay’s name out yo mouth huh?
(31) Rhonda is F*CKED UP! She LICKED her finger at the dinner table. #Woooow!
(32) I was waiting for Stephen Hawking to come up on this show. Did she say she doesn’t “like to see movies about kids on the short bus?” Damn girl!! I thought Rhonda was supposed to be the brains of this operation? How does she not know about Stephen Hawking?? AND then that’s who you use as a sedge way to SEX??? REALLY??? #ComeOnLeeDaniels #SideEye
(33) Clearly Rhonda is done #NoSexForYou. She was like I just can’t do it yo. The old man on the scooter was your limit huh? Woooow, she referred to herself as a “geriatric whore” #Geriatric #Whore
(34) So Cookie & Hakeem are like bosom buddies now? And then he just used that guilt ish to get her to have him go last. DON’T FALL FOR IT COOKIE! But her plum fur vest is BAD tho! Wear it MA!! #YAAASSSSS!!!
(35) So the DNA results came back for the lil cutie and it’s conclusive? That baby is yours Jamal? #JustClaimedHerToRyan
(36) There’s that word again, “sissy” so ALL homophobic black fathers refer to their gay sons as “sissies”? #Sigh
(37) Clearly Jamal and the family are full in re the little lady. Look at that adorable princess room. That child is just too d*mn cute with her pony tail and her little sweater and her little earrings and her little sneakers. #DamnMyOvaries! She is missing her mommy Jamal. Awwww this is such a cute moment with them #InTheJungle #OhWimoweh
(38) Cookie at the board meeting “It’s cold up in here” Hilarious!!! Is that really the only conference room in the entire office? Board meetings happen out in the open at all times??? #YallNeedMoreSpace
(39) DAYUM! Lucious did Andre DIRTY! Did they not talk about this beforehand? I bet they didn’t which was clearly a very stupid decision. Very. Stupid. #WTH
(40) Umm what is Jamal wearing? But Cookie’s white fur and ponytail are EVERY THING!! Q. Why did Cookie wait to have this convo now?? I thought there was supposed to be a collective pow wow about it. #Smh
(41) Awwwww sh*t! Look at fake Lena Halle Boo Boo Anika talking about “special announcements” – that’s a fly a*s dress she’s wearing #SaidBegrudgingly
(42) WTF is everyone having all these serious a*s convos right before the party?? #Sigh
(43) Got these cats looking like they are on their way to a Saudi wedding #Fashion
(44) Oooohhh a New Orleans theme. Okay that make scene. Y’all biting off Solange’s wedding?? #Jokes. Sidebar: there is always ONE background “actor” doing THE MOST #PartyScene
(45) Woooo-weeee check out Cookie’s assets #BamBam
(46) Cookie to Anika: “Yeah I hit that again, just last night” #BigReunion #WeMadeMusic “Congratulations, you look pretty.” #Burn!
(47) Rhonda you and Andre are a mess! It’s going to be kinda hard for you to check him on his drinking now, I mean someone should but after that scene you made at dinner…
(48) Alright maaaaybe Cookie didn’t have to go there since she and ‘Keem JUST got cool but she wouldn’t be Cookie if she didn’t deliver a verbal smack down on Camilla now would she? “Old Camilla” / “Auntie Camilla” / “Stay your tired ass away from my son” #YouTooOld #IWantGrandbabies #Plural
(49) Quote: “Ohhh I get it so Yoko Ono here wants to play on the song, too. Well what can you do Yoko? Can you play the tambourine??” Surprised Camilla/Naomi didn’t throw that clutch at her #YallKnowHowSheDo
(50) Cookie said I wish you HAD been one of my jail bird mates “you probably would have made a good b*tch for me. You look like you got a long tongue.” #Oh #My #Goodness! #ClutchesPearls!!
(51) And now Andre is having his serious convo with Vernon. Why are they JUST now talking? Told y’all Vernon didn’t holla at Lucious ahead of time. This is stupid #ICant
(52) Aaaannnd here’s another Lucious Lyon speech about music. How many have we had now? “Do it for the sake of the music” #MusicIsForever #TellYourTruth Careful what you ask for Lucious…
(53) See! I think Jamal is about to come out y’all! Well that outfit may have already did that… Un oooohhhhh – this ain’t gonna be good for everybody. And there it is – “It’s the kinda song that makes a man love a man” #ImGayYall!
(54) Surprised Lucious didn’t have a stroke right then and there. Vernon’s “wow” was funny. E’rybody clapping and happy but Lucious. #Hater
(55) Lucious came to work in a hat and dark glasses like his a*s is in mourning. #SoDramatic
(56) Vernon had to remind Lucious that he literally just kept his a*s outta jail on a murder charge?? Lucious talking about questioning Vernon’s loyalty. Negro WHAT??? Lucious needs to be checked #HeCrazyAsHell
(57) Wait, what?? The white woman is the problem??? Rhonda??? Is he serious??? He hates gays AND white women?? Anika is half white so WTF?? #I #CanNOT!
(58) Nah Andre it’s not because you’re smart, have degrees and apparently can’t carry a note, that ain’t it playa, it’s because you’re corny. Oh wait, maybe you were right, well at least as far as Lucious is concerned but I don’t think the rest of them feel that way.
(59) Lucious got A LOT of nerve, talking about Andre is trying to tear apart the family. As many times as he’s had your back?? Is the ALS destroying his brain cells already? Or has he always been this nuts??
(60) Brother moment in the kitchen between Hakeem and Jamal was nice: “You’re so brave” #Awwwwww
(61) Oh hell wtf is Andre about to do? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GEEZUS!! But seriously what the entire fuck??? #TheGreatPretender #HeIsCraaaaaazy #LikeFatherLikeSon
(62) Where is Boo Boo going?? To see Billie Beretti? Bish u bet not! Sidebar: She look fly as hell in that red and white tho, I’ll give her that much. #StillBegrudgingly
(63) Cookie just lied to Lucious’ FACE! TWICE!! “Did you say something to Anika? No. Are you lying to me now? No.” #IWouldLieToo #FckHim
(64) Lucious re Cookie: “It was a momentary weakness, will never happen again” / Cookie: “Nothing good can come from loving you, except for my kids.” Right!! #GirlYouBettaKnow #MalTriedToTellYou #HePoisonGirl #POISON!
(65) This ahole kills the Legacy album ’cause he mad? #ByeLucious
(66) Look at Taraji with no make up and her real hair. Looking like Annalise at the end of the day #AuNaturale
COMING UP: Estelle, Andre throwing pills away, Mary J. Blige, Snoop, JHud and PATTI!!
EMPIRE
